Posted by Kerry on Mar 24, 2009
A couple of months ago I received an email from our real estate database LINK. Unlike any other alert I’d received from them, it had nothing to do with selling property, but was a call for vacant houses to address a homeless problem. The message went on to say that there were two homeless men looking for shelter, and did I know of anyone who would be willing to rent to them at a reasonable rate.
I have to admit that my first thoughts were negative. Who would be living HERE without shelter? This is New England and it gets cold! We do not have the facilities or shelters that a larger community has, and are not equipped to fund them. And this place is costly for basics like milk or bread, let alone housing. So I immediately went through my mental Rolodex of reasons as to why this was such a terrible idea, and how they simply needed to move away…problem solved. Solved for me maybe, as I would not have to think about it anymore. My judgmental, self-righteous self took over as I jumped to conclusions about who they were and what they were up to.
It did not occur to me in those initial moments of reflection that these men did not ask to be homeless. As crazy as that sounds, it is easier to blame the victim than the circumstances that led them to being homeless. I’m from the city, and have been exposed to this problem before, but you become blind to people’s needs the more you are exposed to them. You adjust your brain to say that it is a fact of life, and slowly become immune to it. They don’t call them the ” invisible people” for nothing. We make them invisible with our insensitivity and lack of action.
This being a very small community, it was only a matter of time before they became “visible” by default. You notice someone waiting for the library to open every day, or a church or gas station.
I contacted two clients whom I felt may be sensitive to the cause, and had empty guest houses that might work. I never heard back from them.
The email I received was followed up with a story in the local paper about the men , and why they were living on the street. Both had fallen into difficult times financially, and had lost their homes. They were long standing island residents, trying to hang on with the only means that they could find. I felt sad about my initial reaction, and sadder about the predicament that they were living with. I am not sure what happened to these men, and am keenly aware that our local housing issues have more than just affordable housing to consider.
The other day I went out for my morning run, and came back along a route that I use often. My route home borders a cemetery that is at the end of my street and there are many seasonal homes in the neighborhood. In a truck that belongs to a neighbor who is only here a few weeks out of the year, I saw a man. He is living in this unused truck at the end of my road. Do I let my neighbor know, or leave him be? Is he in trouble, or hiding out? What is my responsibility and to whom? I know that I feel nervous and cautious as I have a little girl at home with me, but I want to do what is best for everyone, not remove a “problem” as I see it…what would you do?
Posted by Kerry on Mar 17, 2009
At the risk of sounding exclusive, there is something different about Martha’s Vineyard…though it may not quite be what people who live elsewhere are thinking. Of course it goes without saying that adjustments have to be made to living on an island, and that we are markedly more casual in dress and in atmosphere than comparable resort areas.
There really are not that many black tie events held on Martha’s Vineyard. We have them, and getting dressed up is fun on the rare occasions that it is called for. The need for fancy shoes and fancy dress is but a distant memory for most, completely unknown to some and good riddance seems to be the majority consensus.
When the weather hints at turning, one thing for sure will be the barometer for Spring around here… flip flops. It is the Vineyard’s true test of an islanders capacity for endurance NO SHOES ! Despite the forecast predicting temperatures in the mid 40’s, suddenly shorts and flip flops are everywhere you look. People are so desperate to get that summer ball rolling, that a sunny day in March will do it. I have plenty of empathy, and I understand that not everyone loves winter. There is however, a rather large discrepancy between 40 degrees, and 70 degrees.
For clarification, there are the traditional indicators as well. This morning I saw crocuses in the lawn, buds on the trees and only needed 3 layers of clothing on my run. The sun is up way past 6 PM, and daylight savings has changed my life, also, unbelievably, Dairy Queen opens for the season today. Happily we are well on our way, and after what seemed a very long winter, Spring is officially with us as of Friday this week. I will be keeping my socks on well into April, and look forward to flip flop season in its own time.
Flip Flop
Posted by Kerry on Mar 14, 2009
I have been coming to Martha’s Vineyard since I was 12. I met my husband when we were 13, and we have known each other for more than 30 years. We have mutual friends that we have known for the same length of time, and in the summertime you could pull out photos of any summer over those 30 years and see many of the same faces smiling back at you.
This place is magical. Not only do we have the glorious scenery, weather and community, but we get to know each other intimately without prejudice.
One of the bonuses to city living that I had not identified until I actually moved here was being able to circulate anonymously and selectively choose when and where I wanted to interact. It had not occurred to me that I used this as a tool, a way to keep people a arms length and myself safe. When you live in a small community, you don’t have the option of not engaging. You don’t get to not speak with the person who delivers the mail, because you actually have to pick it up and ask for it yourself.
Your doctor or you child’s doctor may be sitting next to you at dinner and with a nod, the recognition is acknowledged and confirmed for all to see. There are a number of hairdressers on the Vineyard, but the sanctity of those relationships are compromised by the fact that everybody knows everybody, and they either saw you go in, saw you come out, or were actually there to witness you with the foil in your hair. If you need some professional services of a more intimate nature, don’t despair, you will run into someone you know!
It takes some getting used to, and my cautious city ways are slowly leaving me. Though I am blessed with many new friends and am learning about people whom I may not otherwise have been exposed to, I find myself grappling with a feeling of complete exposure. Of life in a small town, where everybody knows me and I feel openly vulnerable and transparent. I have never felt the need to hide anything about myself , what I stand for, value, or who I am, but, there remains an inherent instinct to protect myself. I’d start a self-help group for people with my condition, but there is not a chance of anonymity. So, I am here learning to live and let go, and enjoying the process of allowing new experiences and people in my life. Its not for everyone, and I didn’t think it was for me but we surprise ourselves.
So ultimately, this fishbowl has all the components of a thriving, self sustained environment, without any of the polution, noise or overpopulation of city life. I am so lucky.
Friends At The Beach
Posted by Kerry on Jan 20, 2009
I was ready to write about the real estate market today. I was going to explore timing in buying real estate, Vineyard inventory and what is happening in the local market. I wanted to review what this past year has taught us and share with you my insight and opinions.
But I can’t.
I am consumed with this day, and the unbelievable significance of this new government. My husband, with whom I have had exactly one lunch date in 10 years, asked me to sit with him as we experienced together the change of power in the White House. How could I refuse? We are both busy people, and though our priorities sometimes get confused, we have been waiting for this moment for what seems like forever. The recession has hit us just like everybody else, and through our challenges we have held the belief that change can only be a good thing. That the sacrifices we and others are making are short term, and eventually we will find ourselves on the other side of this. Well today I know that the end is in sight.
The election of Barack Obama transcends politics and speaks to me on a personal level about change, hope and the difference that one man can make in the lives of millions. It speaks to me about the difference that I can make, without much effort, in the lives of others. Because we live in a privileged nation with so many resources at our fingertips that message of hope sounded reasonable and right. I have done a fair bit of community outreach and helping others. I do it quietly and privately. Ultimately I am rewarded not only with gratitude or a feeling of accomplishment, but with freedom from my own struggles. If only for a minute, when I reach outside of myself, I am given a break from my own thoughts and worries.
Today is about change, hope, and the future. In my business losing your home in this economic downturn is a possibility that I discuss with clients, and in some cases it is a reality. Families are uprooted, and lives are irrevocably changed. How can I make my business and life choices about more than just me and my immediate needs? What can I do in the community today that will make a difference? These are the questions I will be asking myself over the next few months and I am grateful for the reflection. Most of my efforts will be focused locally, and I look forward to becoming part of the solution.
Today as I watched the inauguration on on CNN with my husband by my side, I felt the seismic shift. I felt that pivotal moment in time when spirituality and politics converged and found a voice. I have a strong conviction and belief that this a permanent change in the direction of this country. I wonder if anyone else felt it…
